Man-Dog Bites Self

This is news for agoraphobic claustrophobics, the emaciated obese and for nobody else but everybody.


Thursday, August 16, 2012

Two Extra This Year




Despite appearances, there is nothing mixed about the message. A competitive eating contest may not represent the picture of health-conscious habits, so using one to raise money for an athletic event may seem mismatched. But on a sunny Sunday afternoon, with scores of people cheering on nearly a dozen competitors willing to put their gastric stability on the line for the Special Olympics Connecticut, it seems to be as worthwhile a fund-raiser as any road race or walkathon.

By that measure, last weekend’s fourth annual Leo’s Restaurant Hot Dog Eating Contest in Southbury was a success. According to Sharon Pelkey, the director of development for Special Olympics Connecticut, the event that saw 11 people collectively consume more than 70 franks in seven minutes raised about $2,200. The money will be used for training and athletic meets in the state’s Northwest Corner.

I joined the participants as “Jack Sprat” Coraggio, the intrepid gonzo journalist willing to push past the increasingly overwhelming taste of it all to force down a respectable eight dogs, buns and all. Jack “Big Red” Moreno, who last year was disqualified after a reversal of fortune relieved his stomach of its contents, redeemed himself with a 10-dog second place finish. The victor was Chris “I Hate Hot Dogs” Grillo, who walked away with a mustard-colored trophy and a 13-dog meal.

“No, I really don’t like hot dogs,” said Mr. Grillo, who could have fooled anyone. “I generally eat well.”

His training regimen consisted of several gallons of water over several preceding days. Though I took note of this last year, and this year weathered three grueling days of watermelon and raw cabbage (fibrous foods expand), I still couldn’t even achieve first runner-up status.

But in an event with good intentions, one that saw numerous members of the Pomperaug High School football team participate, everyone was a moral winner.

“It was our largest turnout with 11 contestants and five dogs,” said Ms. Pelkey. “The event was a huge success and a fun one for the community. It was well attended. It is our hopes to increase the event in size each year.”

The dogs she referred to were not the Boar’s Head variety; prior to the main event five canines had their own contest. It wasn’t much of a contest though. A bull mastiff seemingly larger than any human participant, a gentle giant named Big Mac, was the winner by sight. Without effort, and despite the appearance of a recycling machine nonchalantly being fed aluminum cans, he ate a stream of 50 hot dogs in three minutes.

Bob Moniz, the owner of Leo’s, said he started the contest because he wanted to spearhead a good cause, not just donate to one. He thinks he found a good match.

“For an event that takes an hour to put on, soup to nuts, I think it is a success,” said Mr. Moniz.

He fully intends to bring it back next year. For those wanting to compete, I offer this survivor’s advice: Separate the franks from the buns, dip the bread in water to compress it and always avoid condiments.

And antacids, bring antacids for afterward.

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